Wow! I’ve been having a difficult time getting off the tee and safely into the fairways during 5 out of my last 6 rounds. It has gotten really bad that many times throughout the last several rounds I almost thought I was going to start crying... It's bad on the old score card, ya know? I am hitting my irons fine. My putting is good or good enough. It is the tee shots. My swing, the results I get, they are all like the first time I ever picked up a club. It is really sad. I’m like the Corky of golf right now.
It all sort of reminds me about a terrible fight I got into with my then girlfriend, now fiancée, a few years ago. The fight ended with us breaking up. My world was turned upside down. I was lost, sad, depressed, and didn’t know what to do. The great thing was that feeling only lasted a couple days. It went away. It didn’t last but for 2 days. We made up and things were back to “normal.” This relationship I have with my tee shots has lasted 7 weeks now. WTF!!! Break up with me already or I will with you. Where did you go? What did I do to deserve this treatment? Who are you sleeping with now? These are the questions I ask my golf swing, not the fiancée.
To fix the situation, I went to the range the other night equipped with a card for 1000 golf balls. I hit 250 balls that night. Being a little sore the next day, I went back and only hit 150 that night. I woke up today barely able to get out of bed. Apparently, the fat guys and the frumpy guys on tour are in better shape than I am. Is there something known as “golf shape?” If so, I’m not in golf shape. Should I rest? Should I fit through it even though I am so sore that it is hard to make a proper swing and the results cause more golf depression and I start thinking that I suck again?
Oh God (Golf God), what do I do? How shall I repent for my golf sins so I can get back into your holy good grace? PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!!!